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Kill This Love

blackpink, blink, rose, jennie, jisoo, lisa, k-pop, kpop, yg, hyun-suk, kill this love, fanfic, fanfiction, koreaboo, satire, comedy, humor, lalisa manoban,
Yang Hyun-suk has ended a call and entered the practice room.

Hyun-suk: “WHAT… THE HELL… IS GOING ON !?”
Jennie: “I’m not with them.”

Rosé (slurring): “You’re always solo, Jennie…”

Hyun-suk: “Get off him, succubs!”

All the girls stood up in a row.

Jisoo: “But he could’ve been dead without our help!”
Lisa: “Yes!”
Rosé: “We just provided some first-aid measures.”

Hyun-suk looks down on the body and takes a pot of water right beside him and throws it away on HardcoreBlink’s face. As a result, he regains consciousness immediately.

HB: “What happened? I think I had a weird dream…..”

Hyun-suk aggressively picks him up by the scruff of his neck and dragged him out of the practice room into the corridor.

Hyun-suk: “We need to talk, buddy.”
HB: “I thought you were on vacation…”
Hyun-suk: “Yesterday I forgot my precious cap in the cafeteria. In short, go nowhere without my cap.”

He dragged HardcoreBLINK into the men’s toilet room and closed the door. He turned face-to-face, pointing his index finger right at Hardcore.

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​”Listen to me, you bull crap. Don’t… you dare let… them…manipulate you! I know something about this shitty industry. When you have the money and power, everybody wants to milk you and lick your ass by saying things like, “Mister Yang, when would be our comeback?“, “Mister Yang, I want a solo debut!”, “Mister Yang, don’t call the police and I will not take LSD anymore!” It’s impossible to manage this YG dungeon properly while having feelings for idols. Therefore, you should kill this love!”

A maniac like sinister grin appeared on Hyun-suk’s face. HardcoreBLINK grew uncomfortable watching it.

“Let me sing a cautionary song.”

Mr.Yang takes out his smartphone from the pocket and tunes in a jazzy brass like melody which reminds Hardcore of the old American musicals. After that, he takes a toilet brush (using it like a mic) starts dancing old fashioned moves. After a short intro Hyun-suk sings with an American accent using a jazzy manner:

Idols are bio-garbage from Nature’s trashcan
So use them, use them as much as you can!
Make them train all day and all night.
And they will forget about slack and stage fright.
In conclusion, money is the only valued thing in this creepy world
Remember forever what I have just told
If an idol breaks down, nobody really cares
Check the trainees section ’cause they all have a flair
Now lesson is over, I have to go
Don’t waste your time, make this place
e-e-e-e… ve-e-e-e-e-r…

The melody has ended. Hyun-suk has become almost unconscious from exhaustion and breathlessness.

“You…” breathing heavily, “Should… kill this love…”

Suddenly a noise is heard from a cabin. Someone flushed the toilet. A cabin has opened. A guy walked out of there. HardcoreBLINK was sure he was an idol, but couldn’t recognize him.

“Anyoung hashimnikka, Yang ajeossi!”
“Hi,” Hyun-suk responded.

Man exited from the toilet room.

“Mr. Yang, this idol probably heard your… khm… performance. He must have been offended by your words now.”
“Nah. Dumbass doesn’t speak English. A real doofus,” Hyun-suk explained.

Then he answered to a phone call.

“Yes, honey? I am sorry, I had an urgent business meeting, but I am coming! Where to? Will be there. What? Sure, honey…”

Mr.Yang silently waved goodbye and quickly went out. After that, HardcoreBLINK checked the other toilet cabins. Good news: nobody was here except him. He decided to take a fresh breath of air for a change so he went out of building just for few minutes. Near the entrance he noticed a litter bin, filled up to the top by American flags.  Subsequently, he got reminded of those trainees he saw upon his arrival to the company.

Things here are more complicated than I thought. But I know what to do. Blinks did not receive any content for almost a year, therefore we need to start the preparations for a comeback from the girls as soon as possible. Hey but what happened with me in the practice room?

Just for a short moment he had a flashback: four women’s asses dressed up in shorts.

I don’t remember a thing other than Mr.Yang being very angry.

Subsequently, after taking a short break, HardcoreBLINK returned to the YG headquarters and went into the office. Nearby his office he finds a girl sitting in her workplace.

“Good afternoon, sir! I assume you are Mr. HardcoreBLINK?”
“Nice to meet you, miss.. emm..”
“I am on my way, thank you.”

HardcoreBLINK tries to enter into his office, however he finds the door to be closed.

“Mr.Blink, you can’t enter without having your keys, hee-hee-hee-hee,” the secretary smiled.
“Ah, right. I’m sorry you did not introduce yourself yet. What can I call you, miss?”
“Way,” the secretary gives the key to HardcoreBLINK and widely smiles. “You may call me from your office if you need something, just use the right button on your speakerphone.”
“Emmm, ok. Thank you, miss.”

“Did she smoke weed recently? A Very strange girl she is…” – he thought and finally entered into his office.

Despite YG interiors being highly consistent with their dark theme,  Yang’s office was unusually bright because of one glassy wall. HardcoreBLINK sat down at the table after being quite impressed with the incredible window view. In the corner he saw a big plastic statue. There was a graffiti on the floor “JYPsux”.

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“First of all I need to know CEO duties. Like, how to start a machine of Blackpink propaganda.”

He googled information, but found useless legal documents.

“Better to question real chairmen”.

HardcoreBLINK registered on business forum and opened a thread:

– Very well, 34 answers. It’s time to read them all.

– No…

– No way.

– Gosh… disgusting.

– Not that.

HardcoreBLINK scrolled down the answers in hope of finding something useful.

“Yes. This is it!”

“I need to plan a project meeting , but how to call the secretary?”

HardcoreBLINK noticed five buttons embedded in his speakerphone on the table. Four of them were of different colors:  🔴 red, ⚪ white, ⚫black, 🟡 yellow. Fifth one was a transparent one with a sign that read: “don’t push!”.

Hmmmm… which one is the right one? It would be easier to ask for her mobile number. But I’m afraid she will misunderstand, HardcoreBLINK thought and thereafter pushed 🔴 the red button, because it was first in the row from left to right.

Red Button
As a result, the glassy wall gets automatically curtained off by red roller blinds. There is a weird two hearts pattern on it. Red low lights in the ceiling turned on. “Careless Whisper” started playing in speakers.

What the... HardcoreBLINK’s mind gets struck with amazement while observing the surrealistic changes going on in the room. I don’t need these.

He simply wrote a text reading “wrong button” below the red one and switched it off. Then pushed the  white button next. After that, a Voice from a nearby speakerphone could be heard.

“How can I help you, Mr. Ya… excuse me, Mr.Blink” – the secretary enquired.
“Miss, I want to schedule a project meeting dedicated to Blackpink.”
“Chief, what participants should I invite?”
“Ermm, the usual.”
“I see. When do you want to start?”
“As soon as possible.”
“Understood, Mr.Blink. Some of the department heads work in other buildings. The closest time possible when we can have all of them is 15:00. Are you okay with that?”
“Yes,” why is she even asking if I have no choice? HardcoreBLINK thought.
“Task accepted. Any other orders?”
“That’s all, thank you.”

He turned off the connection. However, the Secretary called him back later.

“Mr.Blink, I may remind you: you need to set up two private meetings with YG employees. Mr.Yang postponed it before going on his vacation.”
“Private meetings? With whom?”
“Just a minute, let me check. Firstly, Park Chae Young.”

Rosé!? HardcoreBLINK’s heart starts pumping heavily.

“She requested a meeting near two weeks ago.”
“Second one?”
“It’s Kim Jennie. Do I schedule these meetings too?”
“Mr.HardcoreBLINK, are you there?”

Unexpectedly the secretary sees him  opening the door to his office and storming out from the room and shouting:

“YES !!! They must be scheduled for today! No further postponement!”
“But you already planned a project meeting. There is no time for having two more events. We can schedule only one for today.”
“Rosé or Jennie? Which one do you want to go for? Exactly, Mr. Blink.”
“Let me think. I’ll call you back.”
“Great! And the last question,” the secretary smiled again.
“I am listening.”
“Chief, did you push a red button on your speakerphone?”

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